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| Rogue Posts: 5014/11918 |
Admittedly I did forgo a couple nice guys in high school, however, because I was dating someone for 4 years and I for some strange reason maintained the relationship because I had convinced myself that this was it--no one else would ever want me and if I didn't hold onto this long-term, long-distance relationship I'd be alone forever (Yes, I know... I was a HUGE idiot at that age and still have a ways to go before I'm walking on water).
It doesn't help that my then best guy-friend and I are pictured on the couples page of our senior yearbook. And rather than go to prom or any other dances, he and I hung out at a diner, eating pie with friends. Wherever he is, I hope he's found someone and is happy. Now, in argument to the article, I've met tons of "nice guys" who act like the above, but beneath that layer are complete assholes. Exhibit A: My ex, Steve. He was oh-so-sweet, balding, and 30. He was your typical nice guy, he constantly offered to buy things for me (I lost count of how many times in the month we were dating that I picked up a CD or whatever and he'd jump forward declaring, "You like it? I'll buy it for you!!"), opened doors for me, and all that jazz. But once you made one sarcastic remark, no matter how in-good-fun a comment was, he erupted, shouting, "What's that supposed to mean?!" and what have you. He flipped out over everything. Whenever another guy was around, he swore I was checking him out and smiling at them, even if I seriously spent the entire time staring at the ground. If any sort of male spoke to me, he's swear they were hitting on me and I was a bitch for not telling them to fuck off. 
I've never in my life asked such a stupid question as "Why aren't there any more nice guys?" That's silly. What's more what are you doing sifting through bars and clubs? Go to a comic book convention and you'll meet 30,000 eligible bachelors who'll worship the group you walk on if you'll watch Star Wars with them. |
| Cteno Posts: 667/3416 |
Originally posted by Elara I can't help it, the same thing happens to he, haha. Beards for the win! |
| Elara Posts: 4958/9736 |
Ah, I see... lack of scars=less likely to get killed. I can understand that.
And honestly, I like facial hair not because it makes them look rugged or some shit like that... I like scratching them under the chin and playing with their beards/goatees. A lot of men react like cats when you do that to them, closing their eyes and tilting their chins up so you can do it better, and that amuses me greatly. |
| insectduel Posts: 565/684 |
Think about it.
People think I'm perspective and handsome. It's hard to get girls other than I had from my job these days in real life. |
| Cteno Posts: 666/3416 |
Originally posted by Elara I wish I could find the source, but it basically ran along the lines that women find better survivability of a possible long term mate when their facial features hold feminine qualities. |
| 天国JOE Posts: 2429/2999 |
Which is why I make sure I have a pioneer's beard at all times. Girls love that sort of rugged outdoors "fightin' off bears and taking advantage of indigenous peoples to scope out lands for my fur trading company" look. |
| Cyro Xero Posts: 1588/1779 |
Originally posted by Cyro Xero Facial hair is one of the masculine things about men. |
| Elara Posts: 4954/9736 |
So are you saying that based on the study girls like baby-faced guys or scarred guys?
I like facial hair myself... just putting that out there. Nice goatee or something like that, but only if it looks good on the guy. |
| Cteno Posts: 665/3416 |
Originally posted by Cyro Xero I'll try to find it. As I said, I saw it on TV. I actually hope I can find it so I can watch it again, it was really interesting. |
| Cyro Xero Posts: 1586/1779 |
Link to possible Discovery article? |
| Cteno Posts: 659/3416 |
I know that this very well may be a bit off topic, but women also look for a more feminine-faced man and there is some reasoning behind this. Think of the typical "badass". He's probably got scars, tattoos and drinks heavily. Now think of the soft faced "nice guy". He probably has baby-butt-smooth skin and has never been in a fight.
The reasoning: Who do you think will live longer and provide better for the woman? This isn't always the case, however, as most younger women would prefer the "badass" sexually over the "nice guy" and the nice guy is usually taken by the time the badass phase is over. This is based off of a study I saw on the Discovery channel approximately a year ago, by the way. |
| Lord Vulkas Mormonus Posts: 3218/4541 |
I'd just first like to say that in my experience with dogs(my family bred them for several years), the alpha male was usually strong and confident, but still quite often a nice dog. Assertive, and definitely in control, but kind to even the least of the dogs.
The middle class dogs were often the ones who got competitive. They fought, they were aggressive, and were generally not very pleasant to each other. Then there was the lowest dog. In a wolf pack I believe that it's often called the omega wolf. This dog is timid, not aggressive, and rarely physically strong. They would often be treated badly by any but the pack leader, and generally didn't live too happy of a life. They are, however, also very sweet and gentle dogs, an ideal pet for most people. Take from that what you will, but I think that humans are pretty similar. Now, on a different note, I admit, I'm usually a nice guy, but I'm not exactly at the bottom of the pack. The key is, be nice, but be confident and assertive. A few years ago, I shocked a bunch of people by pushing someone up against a wall and shouting at him, because he had stolen a friend's water, and that friend had to leave for an overnight camping trip immediately. That's definitely not usually a nice guy trait. However, despite that, I've almost never turned down a request for help. Whenever someone needs something, I'll act, and I'll get it done. That sort of attitude has been very helpful for me. While I'm not exactly a super hero as far as girls go, I do pretty decently. I know of a few girls who wouldn't mind having me as more than a friend, and most people I know generally think well of me. In other words, the only way to actually be successful with girls, in my opinion, is to be nice, as nice as possible, but also confident and assertive. Treat them well, but be stubborn enough to show that you're unique. Anything else I think was summed up pretty well by Cyro. |
| Cyro Xero Posts: 1580/1779 |
Originally posted by Poli T You're quite a bit correct right now. Women, especially younger women, are attracted to men who expel confidence and seem to know what a good time is. You can't really blame them for that, because at that age all they're interested in is a good time. But then it sucks too, because the "nice guys" who try to get with them eventually disappear over the years and turn into more assertive people who then get with other women who actually give at least a LITTLE bit of shit about them. By then it's too late. They want fun and someone who entertains them. I'm witnessing this right now, because as I'm typing this right this very second, there's a woman I used to work with, but am still friends with (sort of) who lives in the same barracks as I do (1 floor exactly below my room. We're in the army) who is fucking a guy in the barracks right across from me as I speak. I'd say 25 feet. His room is right across from mine I can see his window, and if the shades weren't down I'd be able to see them doing the horizontal mambo. I was out with her and a few other people tonight at the bars. I'm usually the watchdog of our "group", making sure nobody stays out past curfew here or goes home with the wrong person, even as drunk as I can get. I'm her friend, but that's as far as she see's it and as far as I know it'll ever go. There's no way she'd ever go for me, in my opinion. The same goes for the other female I' hang out with once in a great while. I could change my attitude and style or whatever, but haven't done so. But it's clear to me what how that shit works with them. I don't provide enough entertaining conversations and funny/interesting stories to get them to be interested in me beyond "friends". I know exactly how the shit works with women, probably more than they realize themselves, since it's slightly an unconscious thing for them, because I don't give them that "awesome guy to be around" persona. And what a lot of it comes down to, not all, just a lot, is communication. If you don't provide good communication/vibing skills with somebody then you can expect to be on his or her friends list for quite a while. It's even true for people who are already in relationships. It's how some break apart. Poor communication. I'm sad to admit that when it comes to socializing I do very bad at it. Even when I've had a few drinks in me, it takes somebody to COME UP to talk to ME for more than just one sentence or question (which RARELY happens) before I begin to gab away. So that's what it's about. The "nice guys" may talk to them, but a lot of it has to do with them saying the wrong things to get the girls to see them as more than just friends. The rest are bits and pieces that score major "pull her hair from behind" points that guys need to learn about and sharpen up. I'll say this twice: women want men who are and act like men. Again, women want men who are and act like men. That means they want the masculinity that comes with the male sex gender. Thus, it's why a lot are attracted to the assertive/agressive assholes. Because a lot of men, like most do, seek power. To women, power is a very strong aphrodisiac. Any of this make sense? I typed this sobering up from a night at the bars... |
| Cteno Posts: 650/3416 |
Originally posted by Poli T Well, speaking of the ones that are in it for a long run of course. You have to admit, there are a lot of people who pretty much hate each other who marry just to try to solve their problems, which never ends up working. It just infuriates me, is all. |
| 天国JOE Posts: 2420/2999 |
Originally posted by ValhallaWhoa whoa whoa, slow down your horses, mister. 'Entire life' is a long time. |
| Ryan Posts: 1640/1748 |
I was discussing with a friend only yesterday about how jerks > nice guys in a woman's eyes, and it all seemed to focus around genetics, back in the time when we'd be in packs.
Jerks a seen as more confident, more dominant, the alpha male. The women want to be with that male, so attention is turned to them. In turn, the nice guys are left unnoticed. |
| Cteno Posts: 649/3416 |
Originally posted by Poli T If you're going to be a jerk, don't be serious about it at least. Wimmenz are people too! Also, treat your girl as a friend, but not as a guy friend. Come on, if you plan on spending your entire life with her, she had better be your best friend! Treat her like one! |
| 天国JOE Posts: 2416/2999 |
The trick is to be the hybrid of a nice guy and a jerk. |
| Cteno Posts: 646/3416 |
Why is it so hard for so many to see? |
| Elara Posts: 4950/9736 |
Burn!!
And it is true. |
| This is a long thread. Click here to view it. | |
